What a long, strange trip it's been...
My apologies.
My last entry was back in...June? It was about my mother and her quadruple bypass. It is now almost four months later and I am just now in a position to try and post again.
So the detail of the last four months:
- My mother had her quadruple bypass surgery and was in the hospital for about 13 days afterwards. I cried non-stop for the 15 hours before the surgery and the six hours during the surgery. I was a wreck at work, and the day of the surgery was only my third day on the job.
- I line-produced on a great feature film with real actors (Whoopie Goldberg, Sandra Bernhard among the cast). I am very pleased I worked on it, even though I was working 19 hour days and slept maybe three hours a night for three weeks straight.
- My mother returned home from the hospital and promptly went back three days later when my brother noticed something was not right with her. While in the emergency room, she coughed, and her fragile sternum (having already been sawed open for the heart surgery), collapsed and tore her aorta. According to my brother, "It was like a scene from 'ER.' There was blood everywhere, people putting fingers in holes to stop the bleeding." My mother bled out and lost about 5 pints of blood. Had she been at home when this had happened, in an ambulance, in a hospital room, she would have died. Thank goodness she was in the emergency room when this happened, and being there saved her life.
- My mother was then in the hospital for another seven weeks, on a ventilator for a good 70% of that time there. It was really rough going for her -- not good on anyone, especially my father who was at the hospital easily 18 hours a day. Not fun for him. I will spare you the details as they were really, really hellacious weeks, especially for me being so far away.
- My mother left the hospital and then promptly got shingles
- Then my mother was hospitalized three more times for congestive heart failure.
- My mother is home, and it's an extremely slow process for her to heal. The other issue that is going is that her mental status is in question, and while there can be a million reasons as to why she's not so "with it" right now, there is the big "A" that we all worry about. Personally, I believe that being as medicated as my mother has been for the last four months, as much as she was in the hospital during that time (and in a coma for as much time as she was) and not remembering what happened to her (which is kind of a good thing), I think that would affect anyone's mental capacity for a while.
So those have been the mom issues.
Combine that with the very stressful (yet very amazing) film on which I was working, I had no time to update anyone or anything. I barely had time for the boyfriend.
Yes, the boyfriend has been amazing through all of this. 20 months we've been together, and that's quite a record for me. I want us to move in together, and while he's not opposed to it, he wants to pay off some of his debt. Me -- I am impatient. I don't want to be living in NY any let alone by myself right now -- I want to be living with him. When that happens, I have no idea, and while I am fairly confident in a lot of areas in this relationship because "actions speak louder than words," I just want some sort of declaration or something. Okay. So my brain is overtaxed and I can't even enunciate my thoughts on this relationship. The 20 months speak for themselves, so I'll shut up now.
The only good thing that's come out of my mother being ill is that after my next trip to California, I will have a free trip on JetBlue. Yipee for frequent flier points!
So my apologies for not keeping up with everyone and everything. I know everyone has had their own issues and problems as well as fantastically amazing things happen to them. I am sorry for not keeping up with people.
Be well, and I hope I have a moment soon to update you all as well and find out more about what's been going on in your worlds.
My last entry was back in...June? It was about my mother and her quadruple bypass. It is now almost four months later and I am just now in a position to try and post again.
So the detail of the last four months:
- My mother had her quadruple bypass surgery and was in the hospital for about 13 days afterwards. I cried non-stop for the 15 hours before the surgery and the six hours during the surgery. I was a wreck at work, and the day of the surgery was only my third day on the job.
- I line-produced on a great feature film with real actors (Whoopie Goldberg, Sandra Bernhard among the cast). I am very pleased I worked on it, even though I was working 19 hour days and slept maybe three hours a night for three weeks straight.
- My mother returned home from the hospital and promptly went back three days later when my brother noticed something was not right with her. While in the emergency room, she coughed, and her fragile sternum (having already been sawed open for the heart surgery), collapsed and tore her aorta. According to my brother, "It was like a scene from 'ER.' There was blood everywhere, people putting fingers in holes to stop the bleeding." My mother bled out and lost about 5 pints of blood. Had she been at home when this had happened, in an ambulance, in a hospital room, she would have died. Thank goodness she was in the emergency room when this happened, and being there saved her life.
- My mother was then in the hospital for another seven weeks, on a ventilator for a good 70% of that time there. It was really rough going for her -- not good on anyone, especially my father who was at the hospital easily 18 hours a day. Not fun for him. I will spare you the details as they were really, really hellacious weeks, especially for me being so far away.
- My mother left the hospital and then promptly got shingles
- Then my mother was hospitalized three more times for congestive heart failure.
- My mother is home, and it's an extremely slow process for her to heal. The other issue that is going is that her mental status is in question, and while there can be a million reasons as to why she's not so "with it" right now, there is the big "A" that we all worry about. Personally, I believe that being as medicated as my mother has been for the last four months, as much as she was in the hospital during that time (and in a coma for as much time as she was) and not remembering what happened to her (which is kind of a good thing), I think that would affect anyone's mental capacity for a while.
So those have been the mom issues.
Combine that with the very stressful (yet very amazing) film on which I was working, I had no time to update anyone or anything. I barely had time for the boyfriend.
Yes, the boyfriend has been amazing through all of this. 20 months we've been together, and that's quite a record for me. I want us to move in together, and while he's not opposed to it, he wants to pay off some of his debt. Me -- I am impatient. I don't want to be living in NY any let alone by myself right now -- I want to be living with him. When that happens, I have no idea, and while I am fairly confident in a lot of areas in this relationship because "actions speak louder than words," I just want some sort of declaration or something. Okay. So my brain is overtaxed and I can't even enunciate my thoughts on this relationship. The 20 months speak for themselves, so I'll shut up now.
The only good thing that's come out of my mother being ill is that after my next trip to California, I will have a free trip on JetBlue. Yipee for frequent flier points!
So my apologies for not keeping up with everyone and everything. I know everyone has had their own issues and problems as well as fantastically amazing things happen to them. I am sorry for not keeping up with people.
Be well, and I hope I have a moment soon to update you all as well and find out more about what's been going on in your worlds.
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OXOX
But you know, I was worried when you disappeared after June and I thought the worst. Sounds like your mother had next-to-the-worst, but it sounds like she's finally starting her recuperation. And I'm happy for you and Mr. Right. I hope everything is looking up and stays that way with everything in your life!
I was reaching out to C about you and ask if he had heard from you. I was wondering about you and your mom. I'm sorry she wasn't well. I'm glad you're okay and just hope things get better. Don't worry for not posting, but just know you have people here that care.
Hope you get back soon.
-Lani